Naming the Paris Hilton Soap Opera

SOAP DISH Hilton

Far away from the Hilton-heavy scene around the L.A. County jail, there was another drama unfolding last night. With the Daytime Emmys approaching, more than 40 soap opera stars invaded nightclub Nikki Midtown in Manhattan for the 18th Annual Pre-Daytime Emmy Awards Party.

Shockingly, there were no instances of jaw-dropping baby daddy announcements, pensive staring into an invisible camera, or maniacal cackling. Nobody slipped into a coma, either. But between sips of the V2 vodka Emmy-tinis, Radar overheard one actor boast, "Dude, I totally get stabbed next Tuesday!" to which a fellow actor leaned in and proclaimed, "Hah! I get shot on Wednesday!"

Who, really, could be better than these fine fakers of catastrophe, heartbreak, and tears to comment on Paris Hilton's recent predicament? After the jump, Radar asks daytime stars the burning question: If Ms. Hilton's life became a soap opera, what would it be called?