"Thou Shalt Not Bogart Thy Neighbor's Joint"

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

Getting your Trinity Audio player ready...

Dude, Moses? Total stoner. At least that's what one Israeli researcher is suggesting. Professor of cognitive philosophy Benny Shanon has announced that when the bearded prophet received the Ten Commandments from the Lord he was high as a kite on acacia bark, which produces auditory hallucinations and an overwhelming desire to synch up The Wizard of Oz and Pink Floyd's Dark Side of the Moon. Shanon bases his claim on his own use of psychotropics, and also speculates that Moses was out of his mind on dope and speed when that burning bush spoke to him. This is good news for everyone who has issues with the biblical restrictions against neighbor's wife-coveting and other-Gods-but-Me- worshipping: they're actually just the ravings of an acid freak. Feel free not to honor thy father or thy mother from now on. (No word yet on the miracle of the loaves and fishes, but doesn't it sound like a pothead's wet dream?) AFP