Mitt Romney Vs. John McCain: It's On

SHOWDOWN John, Mitt (inset) John McCain won yesterday's Florida primary, which means this is day one of a six-day blood fight to the death between McCain and his hated rival Mitt Romney.

Among those siding with the favored McCain as he prepares to drop a deathblow on the Mittster at next week's Super Tuesday extravaganza: 1) Rudy Giuliani, who is reportedly going to endorse McCain today after his campaign officially crashed into the side of the mountain last night by winning exactly zero counties in a state where he spent approximately $40 million; 2) Mike Huckabee, who's been relishing his role as the proverbial cock-blocker between Mitt and social conservative voters, and is thought to be angling for McCain's VP slot; and 3) McCain's Asian overlords.

On Romney's side: 1) his huge wallet; 2) a coterie of Republican establishmentarians and pundit-class nerds who will never forget that McCain has spent a good chunk of his political career happily peeing on their shoes; and 3) Tom Fucking Tancredo.

Team Romney told MSNBC that they "will not lose for lack of resources," but that may not be enough to keep some high-rolling GOPers from defecting to the McCain camp in the days ahead. Watch the rats scramble!