Sensitive White People Very Upset About Something Michelle Obama Probably Didn't Say

The internet is abuzz with rumors of a videotape showing potential First Lady Michelle Obama "railing against white people" while scary black man Louis Farrakhan sits by her side. Obama's alleged offense is to refer to Caucasians—the world's most sinned-against ethnic group!—as "whitey." Since there's absolutely no proof that the tape exists—and plenty of evidence that it does not—the right wing is going crazy about it, even rationalizing a segment on Fox News where tattooed GOP sleazeball Roger Stone suggests that there actually must be something to the scurrilous rumors because, hey, he's on TV talking about it. This is going to be the stupidest election ever, isn't it?