"The Messiah Will Raise Your Taxes"

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Bigger than Jesus: After unveiling a controversial ad comparing their rival to Paris Hilton and Britney Spears earlier this week, John McCain's campaign released a new ad today calling Barack Obama "The Chosen One." Next week: "Barack Obama created the heavens and the earth. But can he lead?"

• Baby picture$: People snagged the North American rights for the first photos of the new Pitt/Jolie genetic experiments. The mag will "donate" an estimated $10 to15 million to charity.

• Puppy love: Saudi Arabia's capital city Riyadh has banned the sale of cats and dogs and the public walking of pets already purchased. Othman al-Othman—of the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice—explained that the new law was a response to "the rising of phenomenon of men using cats and dogs to make passes at women and pester families."

• Season of the list: Seven Hollywood stars with secret porn pasts! Yes, summer is a slow time for everyone here on the Internet.

• Thanks again, Facebook: Josh Flagg, star of Bravo's fall show Million Dollar Listing and an estate broker, was arrested for allegedly stealing Chagalls and Picassos from the estates he was handling. To make matters worse, he posted a shot of himself on Facebook in his old home standing behind the type of art in question.

• Nip, tuck</strong: Australian doctors have (finally) spoken out against clinics which offer vaginal plastic surgery. The "designer vagina" trend includes "vaginal rejuvenation, revirgination, designer vaginoplasty, and G-spot amplification." Aussie OB/GYNs worry that "such surgery may exploit vulnerable women." Most at risk of being exploited? Total sluts.