Let's get started, shall we?
• Tim Mahoney, voted in to clean up after the messy affairs left by page-pervin' congressman Mark Foley, is now said to have had a second extramarital affair. As in, on top of the first one he tried to buy his way out of.
• The wildfires in Los Angeles have now claimed 18,000 acres, and the season's only just begun.
• As expected, Madonna and <strongGuy Ritchie are getting divorced.
• Things are bad for all the high-stakes media folk (though not to hear Graydon Carter tell it.) But none moreso than lonely Howell Raines, ex executive editor of the New York Times.
• Jen Aniston and Jon Mayer aren't even pretending to be broken up anymore.
• Carfeful of those blowjobs, people! Throat cancer, maybe. Dude, SHUT UP!—Ed.
• And speaking of ramming something down someone's throat, apparently some of the banking heads weren't too pleased with being forced to take Hank Paulson's $125 billion infusion over the weekend.