CAREER CURBED Lohan
• Oh, L-Lo: Lindsay Lohan is charged with DUI in Hollywood and a "usable amount" of coke is found in her abandoned, curbed Mercedes.
• "D.C.: Reprezent!": The nation's capitol seeks a new tourism slogan.
• It wasn't me: Spit-shined former deputy secretary of defense and World Bank chief Paul Wolfowitz blames bad press rather than massive ethical and moral lapses for his downfall.
• Shallow chest: With a paltry $112.5 million in box office revenues raked in on opening weekend, the third installment in Disney's Depp-driven pirate movie franchise, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End, is an utter failure.