RIGHT WINGMEN Larry, Mark (inset) (Photos: Getty Images)
It's not easy to be a maybe-gay Republican these days. You have to be stealth, soliciting affairs on the side while you publicly rail against same-sex marriage. You have a twink on the side, but a Bible in your hand, and there's always the chance you'll get caught. You are stuck between politics and, um, a hard place—it's a double life that rivals Bruce Wayne's.
And then, you get exposed. Through careless IMs or public bathroom shenanigans, the whole thing comes toppling down like a house of cards, and no rainbow flag or conservative diatribes can save you from losing credibility with the gays and the GOP. So what can you do to save your image, gay Republicans? Turns out, not much, but we at Radar are here to offer what little assistance we can. We turned to PR powerhouse Matthew Traub, who now handles celebrity crises at Dan Klores Communications but spent many good years fixing troubles on Capitol Hill. While Traub say there is no true redemption for total hypocrisy, there are a few things a closeted righty can do to help his cause.
Inspired by the recent Senator Larry Craig mess, gay Republicans, you're in the PR/ER!