• Photo ops: The man behind the Fred Durst and Dustin Diamond sex videos, David Hans Schmidt, pleads guilty in a Tom Cruise extortion attempt, faces a $250,000 fine, two years in prison, and a life of torment by Scientologists.
• Comeback kids: As Whitney Houston plots her crack-free comeback, Bobby Brown fights for partial custody of their kids.
• Holy Mormon-mobile!: Mitt Romney's campaign motorcade speeds through red lights in South Carolina with a police escort, courtesy of taxpayers.
• Bristly stubble: A typically unshaven George Clooney gets freaky when asked about his endorsements at the Venice Film Festival, saying "I'm not going to apologize to you for trying to make a living every once and a while."
• Randy Andy: Washed-up funnyman Andy Dick urinates all over the floor and patrons at an Ohio club. The fortunate are merely groped.