Judge: Hoff Actually the Better Parent

'I GOT CUSTODY OF WHAT?' Hoff, fanbase

• Hoff wins: David Hasselhoff gets primary custody of his teenage daughters, just in time for Father's Day.

• Beauty queen, literally: Those who change their sex can compete in the Miss Spain beauty contest.

• Obama crushed: The creators of "I Got a Crush ... On Obama" are open to doing other candidates, both Republican and Democrat—but will sell the Obama bootyshorts for charity.

• Repeat offender: This guy is apparently ubiquitous on the Iranian protest scene.

• The Likely Lads: Despite Pete Doherty breaking into former bandmate Carl Barat's apartment for drug money (and consequently causing the Libertines to breakup), the two are in the studio today recording "A Day in the Life of" for a Sgt. Pepper's tribute album.

• Late shit: Capitol staffers and police alike are baffled by piles of poo left on the floor on the Senate side of the building. Can't blame Strom Thurmond for this shit anymore, either.

• Beware the Wolf: Frank Wolf, the same Representative credited with bringing Tom Delay to Jesus, goes A Clockwork Orange on Asia-Pacific Council of American Chambers of Commerce, forcing them to watch a video of Chinese officials executing prisoners.

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