RUMBLERS Gregory, Snow
• Raising Helen: Acting in a manner becoming an actual journalist (or just channeling still-alive Helen Thomas), NBC's David "Stretch" Gregory, gets cranky with White House obfuscator Tony Snow during a presser. Gregory, referring to the abysmal new Iraq report, asks, "Can this report be seen as anything other than a rejection of this President's handling of the war?" Snow essentially calls Gregory a partisan hack. Things deteriorate from there, mostly for Snow. At least he didn't call Gregory an eyebrow dyer.
• Congratulations! It's a talking point!: Just weeks into its fetal development, Mary Cheney's unborn child is already a political hot potato. Family Pride, a gay and lesbian family advocacy group, pointed out that veep Dick's daughter and her partner live in Virginia, which, despite its lesbian-friendly name, constitutionally bans gay marriage. Meanwhile, Janice Crouse of conservative group Concerned Women for America describes the pregnancy as "unconscionable."
• Ponch gets his heat back! Erik Estrada, Jack Osbourne, Jackass's Wee Man, and Canadian Fitness model/pro wrestler Trish Stratus have been sworn in as Muncie, Indiana, reserve police officers for a new reality show called Armed and Famous. They'll actually carry guns, which should kick those all-too-common celebreality squabbles up a notch (or make for a satisfying ending). Muncie Police Chief Joe Winkle has three lines in the opening episode. It took him three takes to nail them.
• Serious booty: After earning a billion dollars at box offices worldwide, Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest goes on to sell 5 million copies in its DVD debut, putting it on track to break records for live-action DVDs and far outpacing Seymore Butts's Butt Pirates of the Caribbean by about 4.999 million copies.