DREAD SPRINGS PATERNAL Michael, Lindsay • Pissed!: Lindsay Lohan blogs some extremely caustic words for daddy Michael: There will be no smack talking on poor Samantha Ronson, you depraved fame-whore prick! Or something to that effect.
• Peaches and the American dream: In what smells like reality TV gold (that is, Rich Girls meets The Hills meets Newlyweds plus a dash of Secret Diary of a Call Girl) Peaches Geldof, the 19-year-old kinda-famous daughter of Sir Bob, is moving to New York City with her new rocker husband, enrolling at NYU, and working at Nylon, where presumably she and Cory Kennedy will battle it out for the role of "famous person."
• Great Textpectations: A London School of Economics study found that one in six people are sending flirty, presumably winky-face text messages to people other than their significant others. Yes, that would be your boyfriend.
• Obama is turning white: Well, his hair is. In any case, today on Things Younger Than John McCain: fiberglass.
• This is called a "spoiler": The script to a season five episode of Gossip Girl has leaked. Tread carefully.