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November is So Very Far Away

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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I'M STUMPED Obama, McCain (Photo: Getty Images) • Poll position: John McCain continues to trail rival Barack Obama in polls; volunteer Obama staffers trying to change that.

Beverly Hills Cock: Scary Spice plots her post-natal revenge in song against her ex, Eddie Murphy. Murphy already starred in Norbit and spent many unnerving nights in bed with Scary ... this song can't possible faze him.

Fashion vampire: PR headmistress and Lauren Conrad "antagonist" Kelly Cutrone wears black, appears pale, eats raw(ish) meat, and is way too rad to be on the Hills.

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Lemonade Bandit: Twelve-year-old refreshment entrepreneur was robbed of $17.50! The culprit was said to be a "big mean poopyhead."

Godwin's Law, Sport Edition: ESPN columnist Jemele Hill is suspended after saying that rooting for the Celtics is "saying Hitler was a victim." Seriously, what is it with this network?

Bad hair day: A woman arrested in Norway redefines the term coke-head.

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