Jessica: I Didn't Fire Rob Shuter ... In My Heart

Nothing can stop Rob Shuter's spinning—not even the loss of his best clients. A day after being dropped as Jessica and Ashlee Simpson's publicist, the pathologically crafty Brit disseminated a statement, attributed to Jessica, intended to suggest that the parting was in no way the long-overdue shit-canning it appeared to be.

"I did not fire Rob Shuter," read the statement. "He is a great publicist and a great friend." Asked whether that meant he would still be repping the Simpson girls, Shuter studiously avoided comment. (In contrast, Insider host Lara Spencer, who, as we reported yesterday was also rumored to be dumping Shuter, personally called us back in the middle of the night to say it wasn't true.)