GAY BASH Fire Fighters Association Pres Harold Schaitberger, Lewis (Photo: Getty Images)
• Pardon my French: Comedian Jerry Lewis introduces a guest (not the one pictured) as "the illiterate fag" on his telethon for Muscular Dystrophy but still manages to raise $64 million. Zing!
• Expect a long, cold Oscar season: Designer Valentino Garavani will retire in January, "the perfect moment to say adieu to the world of fashion."
• Post-mortem boredom: Cheaper and more environmentally sound than burial at space or sea, online shrines are on the cutting edge of disposition of the dead. Already passé, though: Tron themes.
• Outsourcing: Amid ongoing "child labor" controversy, CBS considers taking children to Mexico for the next round of soon-to-be dud Kid Nation.
• Berry bears fruit: Halle Berry's probable pregnancy spares moviegoers from her recently postponed film, Tulia.
• Godspeed: Steve Fossett, millionaire aviator, hot-air balloon master, expert sailor, great American, and one-time rival of Sir Richard Branson, goes missing in Nevada.