FILM THREAT Lopez
• Worse than Gigli: Jennifer Lopez's up-and-coming bomb, Bordertown, was reportedly booed at the Berlin Film Festival, forcing JLo to make an incredibly unattractive face and ferociously bat her fake eyelashes to hold back the tears.
• Home remedy: Gambian President Yahya Jammeh claims he's found a "foolproof" remedy to cure AIDS—a green seven-plant paste and a bitter yellow drink, followed by two bananas. Just don't consume kola nuts or have sex for 30 days. Duh.
• Alternative Britney shears theory: Lice. One wag tells the UK's Daily Mail: "She thought lice were eating her hair extensions."
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