Jeb Puts Money on the Wrong Horse

HANGER-ON Jeb, George Bush

• Jeb is dead: As if the stink of Katherine Harris isn't enough to kill his political prospects, Jeb Bush tells Spanish-language reporters "No tengo futuro" (I have no future) when asked about running for president in 2008. Thanks, little brother!

• : Former Clinton National Security Advisor Sandy Berger has already paid a $50,000 fine for stealing documents from the National Archives, now we learn he was so neurotic about hiding them that he stashed some under a construction trailer. That worked.

• MADD as hell: Mothers Against Drunk Driving have dumped Miss U.S.A.'s drinking buddy, Miss Teen U.S.A. Katie Blair, as their spokesperson. Something about drinking.

• Practice makes perfect: Waifish actress and former Jack toy Lara Flynn Boyle has wed her boyfriend of six months.

• Origins of the yule log: The rage in Spanish Christmas decorations? Pooping peasants, poop-shaped pastries, poop piñatas, and, of course, poop (heh-heh, poop).