I WANT YOU Uncle Michael
• Oh, baby give me one more chance: Michael Jackson is back in the U.S. and planning a comeback that includes a trip to Japan, where he'll charge $3,300 to shake his gloved hand. Gotta support the habit somehow.
• Wild on Sundance: When he's not eating single servings of Total on the street, Jared Leto is busy threatening people with beer bottles in Park City bars. Sadly, he has a lot farther to go before he hits rock bottom.
• Secret past: In outlining why Republican presidential hopeful Mitt Romney is not conservative enough, fellow nomination-seeker Sam Brownback forgets to mention the time Romney gave money to Democrats.
• NYCondoms: Officials at New York's City Hall are planning to release an official city condom: It's too small, too expensive, and it comes with a roommate.
• Oops: Liz Taylor is still giving money to Hillary Clinton today, just $97,900 less than everyone thought.