BREAKING NEWS

In Which People Are Atrocious To Elizabeth Edwards And Not Nearly Atrocious Enough To Her Idiot Husband

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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A MAN FOR A HUSBAND? John, Elizabeth Well, that didn't take long. The New York Daily News is reporting that former vice presidential hopeful (formerly former presidential hopeful, followed yet again by former VP hopeful) John Edwards is calling up his former aides asking forgiveness for that whole cheating on his cancer-stricken wife with a skanky ho and maybe fathering her poor bastard child thing. "I let you down, and I'm sorry," is how his spiel apparently goes. Aww. WHATTAGUY. God love 'em, most of his staffers haven't been taking his calls, and those who have are giving him what-for. Guess who God is maybe not loving so much really? Brad Crone, a North Carolinian Democratic consultant who will never get a date again. Why's that, you ask? Oh, because of this little gem he tossed off to the Associated Press today regarding Edwards' wife, Elizabeth: "I think she's complicit," Crone said. "Obviously, she knew. While she's the victim, she clearly didn't stand in the way of the cover-up." Oh, for pity's sake, which is the G-rated version of what I'm thinking in my head.

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