House, M.D. Plays Doctor with Borat, Gets Press

BORAT'S HOUSE Pals go press whoring

• Kazakh attacked: An in-character Borat told an NYC passerby, "I want have sex with your clothings," and was attacked. Yelling for help between face punches, the intrepid foreign correspondent was saved by Dr. House, Hugh Laurie. The angry man on the street has either missed the best-reviewed movie in America or is as sick of its hype as we are.

• Big in Berlin: The former commander for all U.S. prisons in Iraq, among others, is supposed to testify for the prosecution in a pending criminal lawsuit in Germany against future secretary of senior shuffleboard Donald Rumsfeld, Attorney General Alberto Gonzales, former CIA director George Tenet, and others for their torture techniques in Gitmo and Abu Ghraib. Rumsfeld's flacks have called this "A big, big problem." The trouble has only begun as David Hasselhoff—and maybe the Scorpions—will clearly be chosen for the jury.

• The Chosen people's yarmulke: Hip-hop superpowers Jay-Z and Russell Simmons have joined forces to create a series of public service announcements defending Jews from anti-Semitism. To the lay-Gibson, the ads read: "What's hot? Respect for people. What's not hot? Hating people for their color or religion." In terms of subtlety and nuance, it's like stabbing someone in the stomach.

• Election Day, redux: San Fran Nan, the House's Speaker-to-be, has thrown her vote in John Murtha's ballot-box in his race against Steny Hoyer for House majority leader. Flashback to 2001, where Murtha helped Pelosi defeat Hoyer in their own congressional run-off. There would be some joke about blatant favoritism, but Pelosi admitted it already.

• Rope-a-doping the Pope and others: Elton John, proponent of elaborate costumes and gay rights, has come out swinging: "I think religion has always tried to turn hatred towards gay people." As a counterpoint, Devil's plaything Ted Haggard turned hatred towards Republican-style close-mindedness and sexual immorality.