Homeland Security Still Ridin' Dirty

SLEAZY RIDER Duke Cunningham It seems the Department of Homeland Security isn't ready to part ways with D.C.'s favorite ho wagon.

Today, ranking House member Rep. Louise M. Slaughter (D-NY) pimp-slapped DHS for deciding to extend its $21 million annual contract with Shirlington Limousine, the preferred slut shuttle of jailed congressman Randy "Duke" Cunningham.

Defense contractor Mitchell Wade, who has confessed to bribing Cunningham, reportedly told investigators that San Diego businessman Brent Wilkes had Shirlington chauffeur Cunningham and assorted prostitutes (of as-yet undetermined gender) to the Watergate and Westin Grand allegedly for orgiastic poker matches. Cunningham so enjoyed his time on the 'tang express, he even wrote a letter of recommendation that helped the company nab its multimillion dollar DHS deal.

Shirlington president Christopher Baker, who Harper's reported has a 62-page criminal rap sheet from 1979-1989, denies any connection to said congressional pay for play. Meanwhile, Shirlington operates more shadily than Wesley Snipes, with multiple names and addresses listed in its corporate documents.