Hermès Corners Wall Street Market

FASHION HORSE Hermès mascots

Style hercules Hermès unveiled its new Wall Street store Thursday evening, with an after-party beneath the domed frescoes of Lower Manhattan's Cunard Building. The event was part F. Scott Fitzgerald-like decadence and part Eyes Wide Shut-like creep-out, as a dozen horse-headed staffers on stilts teetered above the entitled, mostly disinterested crowd, miming hooves with closed fists and posing for photos.

The thin and pretty grazed half-heartedly at a spread of oysters, beef tenderloin, and various amuse-bouche served by obsequious waiters. Among the star- and mogul-studded event's guests were a comely Chloë Sevigny, the mopey Misshapes trio, and curiously styled fashion scribe Derek Blasberg. In the David Lynchian little person role: Dr. Ruth Westheimer.

An hour in, six of the eight African Americans in attendance delivered a tap dance routine to a hype man's beat-box soundtrack. Moms in pearls clapped and shook their heads in disbelief. Hermès chief Christian Blanckaert kicked off the boogieing on the rotating dance floor. Ponytails helicoptered out of control. Gucci loafers clopped in champagne puddles. Rhythm was ignored, the roof neither raised nor lowered. A shower of gold confetti ignited oohs and ahhs from aged doyennes, budding socialites, and bald-pated honchos alike. It's safe to say not even Wall Street had witnessed (and will likely never witness again) such an egregious display of white-guy dance-floor overbite.