Handicapping the Kerry Endorsement

BENNIFER, BRANGELINA, O'KERRYBAMA? Kerry, Obama (Photo: Getty Images)

The early days of the holiday season are flush with the promise of sloppy office party hook-ups and heart-tugging Lexus commercials to come, but it would be a disservice to forget their mirthless downside: forced reconnections with family members best left forgotten.

Nobody knows this frustration better than the candidates in the Democratic primary, who are struggling over how best to deal with the possible reemergence of long-faced-Brahmin John Kerry. The rumor mill has him shopping for a candidate before the Iowa caucuses. Party leaders might like the windsurfing Senator chained-up in the basement like Sloth from Goonies, but with Bubba backing his wife and Al Gore apparently staying neutral, Kerry is the highest profile Democrat yet to back a primary contender candidate. And endorsement from a one-time presidential nominee and vocal war opponent, however, isn't just good for cache, it's good for cash.

For Kerry, picking a candidate may be easier said than done, considering his own checkered-history with each of the six "serious" contenders (aka everybody but Dennis Kucinich and Mike Gravel). RadarOnline.com runs down the betting odds on who has the inside track on an endorsement one operative described as, "like asking for a pet and getting a spitting cobra."