Go Breast, Young Man

LIKE-MINDED TODDLER Not the kid in question, assorted boobs Everything is bigger in Texas, right? Well, it looks like that even extends to the cojones of their toddlers. A five-year-old boy escaped his daycare center just outside of Dallas, Texas, earlier this week by saying he had to go to the bathroom. He then proceeded to sneak out through an unlocked fire exit, walk to a RaceTrac gas station to buy himself snacks and soda, and then stroll nearly a half-mile to the local Hooters, presumably to pick up a couple chicks and power a few hot wings. Nappy hour, if you will? I will not.—Ed.