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Giuliani's Own Bathroom Brush

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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COVERING POPS' BACKSIDE Giuliani

Take note, bathroom trolls: Though the "wide stance" defense has now been mocked out of viability, an alternative for explaining away your restroom run-ins with the cops comes courtesy of Rudy Giuliani's father.

Yesterday's Washington Post profile of Giuliani includes an odd anecdote which begins with Hizzoner's late pops Harold summoning a trusted friend to his home in 1961 and confessing to a scrape with the law. No stranger to getting hassled by the fuzz—he'd previously spent 18 months in jail after robbing (and de-pantsing ) a milkman on Manhattan's Upper East Side—this was a little different; he'd been arrested for loitering in a public restroom for "immoral purposes." With a 17-year-old Rudy standing at his side "like a sentry," Harold explained to his friend that he simply suffered from chronic constipation and that the cops had happened upon him in the midst of some pre-bombing preparations: "He had been doing deep knee bends to loosen his bowels."

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Made perfect sense, apparently, to the authorities who ended up dropping the case. The upshot of the tale, the Post notes, is that it perfectly captures the essence of a man who really, really values loyalty. Except for when he wants to screw chicks he's not married to.

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