Rainbow coalition: Is "Gays for Giuliani" just an inappropriate, ongoing homo joke? Hell, it worked for Chuck & Larry.
• Paris's pen pals: Hilton finally writes back to all those adoring fans who wrote to her in jail. She claims she actually read their letters. And that she can read.
• Britney AWOL for comeback: Allure magazine decides to put Britney Spears on its cover as part of a profile detailing her alleged comeback. Britney then skips out on her interviews, inspiring the headline "Britney Spears: Tells Us Nothing and Everything."
• Rumor: The Australian government is issuing a stamp featuring a picture of Brad and Angelina admiring their baby.
• Cheney's best remarks: McSweeney's asks which quotes come from Dick Cheney and which ones come from Phil Leotardo of The Sopranos.
• "Financial armageddon": Jim Cramer, host of CNBC's Mad Money, goes ballistic over the federal reserve's handling of the market. Listening to him scream you could easily think that lives were being lost.