Gay Cannibal Now Prison Chef For Life

Let's call it a day:

• It's a sad and entirely expected end for the gay cannibal trial in the UK: at least 30 years in prison. Good news! He's going to be THE PRISON CHEF. Also: He "was a violent drunk with a history of aggressive behaviour." You don't say.

• In other wonderful news, the Somali pirates have shown their hostages to nearby boats and all seem to be in good shape. This pirate standoff is now in its fourth week.

• Today is your last chance to register to vote in California, Kansas, and others—and Connecticut, Iowa, and Wisconsin approach swiftly.

• The Britney Spears jury has been deadlocked all afternoon.

• Condi Rice looks back on eight years of George Bush: "The Middle East is a different place and a better place," and "a U.S.inspired "freedom agenda" has taken hold in the Middle East. I would like some gravy with my freedom agenda.