Brooklyn Needs Hot Women

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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"GIVE ME YOUR PRETTY, YOUR THIN, YOUR GIRLS WITH HOT ASSES YEARNING TO STARE VACANTLY" Weiner As our nation braces for possible fuel and food shortages, the scarcity of another valued commodity has gone all but unnoticed until now. Step forward Rep. Anthony Weiner, who has sponsored a bill that would make it easier for foreign models to obtain visas. While xenophobes may object to any easing of immigration restrictions, pro-model advocates note that foreign models are simply doing the modeling jobs that American models are unwilling to do. For Weiner, it's a case of constituent service: The dearth of pouty anorexics is "a problem in Manhattan but also in his Brooklyn district, which feels the impact in terms of the loss of 'ancillary benefits' such as jobs in the industry or increased business." Weiner is widely rumored to be considering a mayoral run in 2009; should he somehow get the bill passed, he'll have pretty much locked up the votes of the vital speed-dealer and emetic-producer demographics.

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