FitFlops: Spring Thongs for a Plump-rump Nation

parts Matrix, QVC, Bionic Woman, and Blue Collar Comedy, FitFlops are gaining a foothold again. A stylish alternative to walking barefoot to the Piggly Wiggly, these thongs actually claim to help shrink your cottage cheesy legs and fat ass as you make a Ho-Ho run. They made waves a few months back, but with spring in the air, there's a weird new momentum behind anything that purports to help shave off winter layers. Dust 'em off and get in shape for jort season! We know what what you're thinking: Won't it just agitate my bunions? "No," according to the FitFlops FAQ. "In fact, if you suffer from bunions, we'd suggest ordering a few pairs of FitFlops for yourself, as we're going to guess that you may never want to put normal shoes (that rub on your bunions) on your feet again." See the above video for details. (The opening line really says it all.)