Virginia Is Not For Nut Lovers

CASTRATED Truck

There's trouble down in old Virginia: testicle trouble. Seems the growing trend of "truck nuts," those powder-coated, drop-forged aluminum automotive decorations shaped to resemble the human scrotum, has terrified and offended residents of the Old Dominion state. In a bid to save his fellow citizens from the terror of seeing giant metal nads hanging from the rear of other cars, state delegate Lionel Spruill has proposed a bill to ban the balls. But he's not just going for the acorns; Spruill's "car castration bill" would to chop down the whole tree, banning "anything on a car or truck that looked like human genitalia." No word yet on whether this blow against testicular vehicular freedom stands a chance of shooting through the legislature, but if you want to get your hands on a pair of high-quality cojones before The Man takes them away, this site seems to offer top-notch sets. Sadly, it does not appear that there's a green model for you Prius drivers, but they do have a tuxedo sack "for that black tie affair."