Your Own Heart-Shaped Box

CHASTE LOUNGE On the block Having a hard time putting your finger on the perfect Valentine's Day gift? Less than a month away, V-Day looms like a satin shitcloud ready to rain candied hearts and edible undies. You don't have to sell out to Big Valentine. Why not go unique this year? Why not go with, say, a vagina-themed handbag?

Our favorite, The Velvet Vulva, is a line of "fine purses and magickal bags" designed to look like lady parts in crushed velvet, silk, satin, and leopard flannel. The bags have a "sumptuous fabric labia and a beautiful button clitoris" and "as in life, come in various sizes, shapes, and styles." Georgia O'Keefe, eat your heart out!