Father Knows Best

UPRIGHT CITIZENS Foley (with John Ashcroft)

• Semi-bad touch: Father Anthony Mercieca, the priest Mark Foley accused of sexually abusing him, defended his actions, claiming Foley "seemed to like it." He continued, "Once maybe I touched him or so, but didn't, it wasn't—because it's not something you call, I mean, rape or penetration or anything like that you know. We were just fondling." Foley resigned from Congress and checked himself into rehab after inappropriate e-mails and IM chats with teenage pages were released on the Web.

• Letter bomb: Authorities are looking into the campaign of California Republican congressional candidate Tan D. Nguyen in connection with threatening letters sent to Latino voters warning them that immigrants could be jailed for voting in the upcoming midterm elections. "I did not do this. I did not approve of any letter," Nguyen told reporters. The letter, which was written in Spanish and printed on California Coalition for Immigration Reform stationery, was signed by "Sergio Ramirez."

• $4 solution: Wal-Mart continues to extend its $4 generic drug prescriptions deal, which is now available in fourteen states.

• Animals ... they're getting wise: A stingray critically wounded an 81-year-old Florida man after it jumped onto his boat and stung him.... A panda cub bit an American visitor to a Chinese zoo, threatening to disrupt Sino-American relations.... And on the serious side, five people were killed in an elephant rampage in Bangladesh, lending much credence to the recent New York Times Magazine cover story about the rise in elephant-on-human attacks.