Family Lies

CHARITY CHUMS BonOprah • U2 Greedy: Fresh off a media tour with Oprah that pushed for more government spending on African AIDS programs, Bono and his band move their music publishing company to the Netherlands to scrimp on tax responsibilites in Ireland.

• Say "uncle": Page Six reported a woman claiming to be Steven Spielberg's "second or third cousin" is trying to get herself into VIP-only parties. Not a bad idea, but not a terribly original one either. At the turn of the century, a young man calling himself Jonathan Taylor Spielberg briefly achieved infamy with the same lame trick.

• Kolbe's beef: The board looking into the allegations of White House page Web-diddling by Mark Foley (he himself today named a Roman Catholic priest who abused him as a boy) is now looking into a second allegation, believed to be against Rep. Jim Kolbe (R-AZ), who went on a camping trip 10-years-ago with two pages, his sister, Kolbe staffers, and National Park Service employees. Surely it's pure coincidence that the latest page scandal target is the only openly gay Republican in both houses of Congress.

• When product placements go bad: Emerson Electric is suing NBC over a scene in Heroes that showed someone's hand being mutilated in an Emerson garbage disposal. Had it been an appliance created by NBC/Universal parent company General Electric, it might've fared better on screen.