Like Zacarias Moussaoui before him—nutjob Mousaoui was convicted in May, 2006 of conspiring in the 9/11 attacks, even though 6 jurors were not convinced he had much if any role in them whatsoever—Khalid Sheikh Mohammed and four other 9/11 probably-terrorists are representing themselves in an extremely fair and credible American military trial beginning now in Cuba! Mohammed has been held for five years, for some time in one of our cute secret prisons, more recently in Guantanamo, so presumably the U.S. case has been made really super-good and this will all go oh-so smoothly. One particularly exciting facet of the cases is that the judges must decide if waterboarding is torture, as evidence garnered through torture will not be admitted. But there's good news. Both the defendants and the government have the same goal—death by execution! So really we could just skip the whole thing and stone them to pulp in front of New York's Time Warner Center. That would underscore the whole American family therapy aspect of the trial.