Every Oddity Has Its Price

People magazine (long known for being the heavyweight in the battle for "which glossy will own the first soft-lit snaps of barely conscious celebrity spawn"), has nabbed yet another coveted newborn shot. This time, it's for cuddle-pics of Susan Beattie, daughter of Thomas Beattie—better known to many as "preggy man-woman extraordinaire" or "that transgendered preggo who came on Oprah's show and managed to skeeve her holiness out a bit." The pictures went for a reported $300,000, which is far south of the suspiciously high numbers bandied around for the likes of newborn twins Knox and Vivienne Jolie-Pitt ($11m), but not bad considering the fact that—you know, actually, I don't care how much Vaseline you smear on the lens, or how reassuringly the stock boudoir backdrop resembles J. Lo's house, this whole thing is going to make People's white-bread, pet-costume-loving audience squirm.