A few weeks back, a rumor making the rounds at the University of Pennsylvania touted celeb chef Emeril Lagasse as the school's 2008 commencement speaker. A bunch of bratty Ivy League kids complained that the selection lacked the gravitas befitting an institution such as Penn (famous alum: Donald Trump!), but the whole affair turned out to be a hoax. Now comes word of Penn's official choice: New York Mayor and maybe-Independent party presidential candidate Michael Bloomberg. Will Bloomberg use the opportunity as a means to formally announce his bid? Probably not. But he will offer up a bunch of cliché life and career advice that most kids will be too hungover to remember for any extended period of time!