Anywhere I Lay My Ed

HOUSE OF ED Ed McMahon's House (For Now) • Home Search: Ed McMahon blames his foreclosure woes on the "foundering economy, health problems and poor planning." (Not mentioned: all the glug-glug.) Radar took a tour of the McMahon McMansion on Wednesday.

• The New Feminine Mystique: Feminine product aisle inspires best selling German book, Wetlands. Tampons never looked so sexy!

• Carbon Congress: Congress was not able to pass the global warming bill that would have put caps on carbon emissions due to a Republican filibuster. (A filibuster is defined as "the mass murdering of baby polar bears.")

• Drive Under One God: South Carolinians can now spread the Lord's message via their cross-emblazoned license plates.

• Regal Eagle: Scientists have finally made some progress in bald eagle beak replacement technology ... about time, right?

• There is no "I" in Intel: The juggernaut that is Intel has not been sharing its toys and is now being put in "time out" by the federal government.