COOL, BRAH Duane • Lucky dog: A Mexican judge rules that slur-happy Duane "Dog" Chapman won't be prosecuted on kidnapping charges after doing his bounty hunting shtick south of the border.
• Material girls: Madonna tops Forbes' list of the richest women in the music industry. Babs Streisand comes in second, followed by Celine Dion and her golden pipes of cheese.
• Oh baby: Grandpa Rossdale confirms that Gwen Stefani and that dude from Bush are expecting a second trendy tot.
• Is it or isn't it?: Attorney General Michael Mukasey refuses to define waterboarding as torture.
• Gulp...: Repent! German beer sales hit a 15-year low.
• New toys: Philip Morris is coming up with all kinds of kooky new products to keep the world smoking, including a shorter, more potent cancer stick called Marlboro Intense.
• Reach out: Hillary Clinton is still waiting for Barack Obama to shake her hand after her gesture of "friendship and unity" at the State of the Union address was deftly dodged by her rival.