Steve Jobs' Diastolic Blood Pressure Eerily Foreshadows Dow Loss
Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET
Want some happy news? We'll see what we can do!
• The Dow only lost 76 points! It was a lot worse this morning!
• Our neighbors to the north went to the polls today, and were probably super-polite about it! Democracy is cool!
• Those Somali pirates have not yet blown up their hijacked ship even though their self-imposed deadline has passed! Let's hear it for restraint!
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly back together! We could not be more pleased!
- SHOCKING PHOTOS: Jeezy Denies Jeannie Mai's Domestic Abuse And Child Neglect Claims in Divorce War
- Amanda Seales Breaks Silence on Issa Rae Fallout, Says 'Insecure' Creator Did Not 'Empower' Her
- Priscilla Presley 'Shocked' After Elvis' Self-proclaimed Secret Love Child Shows Up at Her Book Signing: Report
• Apple unveiled some new laptops and noted that Steve Jobs's blood pressure is 110 over 70! Not too shabby!
• Anderson Cooper battled Dave Chappelle for Prince's guitar pick! So much awesome!
• TMZ claims this is the screenplay to the Sarah Palin porn flick! We like ours better! Probably because we made it up!