Steve Jobs' Diastolic Blood Pressure Eerily Foreshadows Dow Loss
Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET
Want some happy news? We'll see what we can do!
• The Dow only lost 76 points! It was a lot worse this morning!
• Our neighbors to the north went to the polls today, and were probably super-polite about it! Democracy is cool!
• Those Somali pirates have not yet blown up their hijacked ship even though their self-imposed deadline has passed! Let's hear it for restraint!
• Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer are reportedly back together! We could not be more pleased!
- 50 Cent Sensationally Breaks Silence to Defend His Decade of Warnings About Caged 'Pedophile Rapist' Sean 'Diddy' Combs: 'I’ve Been Saying This For 10 Years'
- Insane Secrets 'Menace to Society' Iron Maiden Rocker Paul Di'Anno Took to Grave After Death Aged 66: From 'Knife Fight' With Girlfriend to Cocaine Possession, Firearm Offenses, Muslim Obsession... and 666 Tattoo!
- Liam Payne's Haunting Final Words About Son Bear, 7, Emerge As Fans Reel Over His Horrific Drug-Fueled Death at 31: 'He's a Big Boy and Looks Like a Mini-Me'
DAILY. BREAKING. CELEBRITY NEWS. ALL FREE.
• Apple unveiled some new laptops and noted that Steve Jobs's blood pressure is 110 over 70! Not too shabby!
• Anderson Cooper battled Dave Chappelle for Prince's guitar pick! So much awesome!
• TMZ claims this is the screenplay to the Sarah Palin porn flick! We like ours better! Probably because we made it up!