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Dear World, Add Oprah Takeover to Your List of Worries

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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O GOD NO Oprah

Oprah's Witless Nation: "I will now have the opportunity to do this 24 hours a day on a platform that goes on forever," says Oprah, referring to: A) her covert plans for world domination via the media industrial complex, B) exponentially growing her net worth, C) lecturing forth interminably on OWN, the forthcoming Oprah Winfrey Network, or D) all of the above? (Hint: There is no wrong answer.)

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