HANG THE DJ Delaney Corey Delaney, whose fabled bonhomie has made him a hero to teens everywhere looking to fight authority (or at least get drunk), is bringing his party shtick to England.
According to the Times of London, Delaney, 16, is slated to tour London and a slew of other British cities this summer as some sort of party promoter/DJ hybrid. That anyone will actually attend a party thrown by Delaney in six months' time—as far as we can tell, he's thrown one in his entire life, and it was accidental—remains to be seen. But that's not important. What is important is that his agent, Max Markson, who we're sure is a totally savory character interested only in Delaney's long-term well-being, claims that his young client can expect to gross $100,000 this year (of which he'll take 20 percent, thank you very much).
"A week ago, I was on the building site working hard and now they put me on national tour," says Delaney of his good fortune. Now, "I've got an agent—life's good." Sort of. He's reportedly received so many death threats that he's unable to return home to his parents, and it looks like his mother needs professional therapy to deal with the media circus surrounding her family. But other than that, you know, totally!