Copperfield's Magic Methods Revealed!

TURNING TRICKS Copperfield (Photo: Getty Images)

• How the magic happens: A secret document describes instructions to the magician's assistants. They are to be on the lookout for any hot chicks Dave might want to meet after the show ("scorpions"), keep any male escorts (husbands, boyfriends) out of the way, and entice the ladies with the illusionist's Bahamian real estate.

• The Ro sho?: Could a Rosie O'Donnell news talk show on MSNBC best Larry King Live on CNN or Hannity & Colmes on Fox News? She's in talks with the network for a 9 p.m. slot. Imagine the Olbermann lead in.

• Reduced term: CNN's snarling law dog Nancy Grace does not have sympathy for mothers who lounge around for nine luxurious months waiting to give birth to just one baby. She fires out "two little crime fighters" (weighing a total of eight pounds) after just seven months.

• In other baby news: Milla Jovovich names her presumably hot newborn daughter Ever Gabo. Apple Blythe Alison Martin is reported to have cooed, "touché."

• Signing off : Despite a devoted Facebook following, a devastated Stephen Colbert announces that he has dropped his bid for the White House following a heart-wrenchingly close 13 to 3 decision by the South Carolina Democratic Executive Council.

• Celebrity baby fever: 3,000-year-old dirt-cured Egyptian boy-king Tutankhamun is in competition with Sean Preston Federline Spears for most screwed up grill. Thanks, mom and dad!