IT'S FOR YOU iPhone
• Tech beat: After what he says was a sleepless night, Apple's Steve Jobs unveiled the iPhone, which apparently requires no wire connection in order to make a telephone call!
• Trump finally uses stationery: The Donald has his people write a gut-wrenchingly funny letter to "pig" Rosie. Trump and Barbara Walters are totally gonna tag team her in The View parking lot.
• Santorum spreading: Former junior Senator and sexual slang-inspiration Rick Santorum joins the Ethics and Public Policy Center as a senior fellow to work on the new "America's Enemies" program. Not since Sean Hannity debuted his "Enemy of the State" awards yesterday has America sounded so totalitarian.
• TiVo it, eh?: Little Mosque on the Prairie, the CBC show about a Muslim family living among Christians in Middle Canada, debuts tonight.