Congress is Totally Chucked

BRANDING GURU Rangel

Like most congressmen, Rep. Charles Rangel worked late last night ushering essential, earmark-laden spending legislation through the House of Representatives. But unlike his colleagues, Charles Rangel is not a chump who will settle for earmarks that don't aggressively promote the Charles Rangel brand. Ergo, the $1.95 million for creating the Charles Rangel Center for Public Service at the City College of New York which, according to this report, will include a "Charles Rangel Conference Center," a "Charles Rangel Library" and a "well-furnished office for Charles Rangel."

According to some estimates, the bill included over 9,000 other earmarks which do absolutely nothing for the Rangel brand—you can find them all larded throughout the 1,482-page bill which Democratic leaders made available to rank-and-file representatives less than 24 hours before the vote. The bill is expected to be considered in the Senate today, where senators probably better not even think about fucking with the $113,000 Sen. Ted "Incredible Hulk" Stevens got for Alaskan rodent control—if they know what's good for them.