Colbert Offends Strap-on Voter Bloc

'MISSILE CHICK' MAGNET Colbert(Photo: Getty Images)

Apparently, the Colbert Nation maintains a strict policy on immigration. At Stephen Colbert's reading and book signing at the Union Square Barnes and Noble in Manhattan Wednesday night, the faux pundit and allegedly real presidential candidate effectively shot down the "Missile Dick Chicks."

Sparkle and Cybil War, two Colbert fans and members of a theatrical anti-war group whose members dress up as patriotic Texas oil baronesses with patriot missile strap-ons, waited patiently in line for an hour to get their books signed. With their bras worn fashionably over their shirts (the better to complement their red and blue fishnets and boas), American flag bandannas, and silver patriot-missile appendages, they livened up the perfectly controlled mass at B&N. But when they reached the final phase of the line to Colbert, Sparkle said a store manager approached and told them that Mr. Colbert didn't want them coming up on stage to get their books signed, as hundreds had that night. "We were told that if we went on stage we would be arrested," she said in a fake Southern drawl.