Aguilera Cover's Underwhelming Numbers

RETURN ON INVESTMENT Christina, Max • Bad investment: Though People paid an estimated $1.5 million for exclusive photos of Christina Aguilera and her newborn son, Max, readers don't seem to be interested. Sales of the issue are selling at just about the average rate.

• As expected: Presidential candidates Barack Obama and John McCain continue their respective winning streaks, with victories in yesterday's Wisconsin primaries and Hawaii caucuses.

• Guest list: Just over 200 people—many of them big Hollywood players—make the witness list for the upcoming Anthony Pellicano trial. Paramount chief Brad Grey, Tom Cruise lawyer Ricardo Cestero, conservative commentator Michelle Malkin, and Garry Shandling are among them.

• Neverending stories: NBC announces it will ditch the TV tradition of premiering new shows in September and May, and will instead unveil new programs throughout the year—as they're ready.

• Staying on: Despite the opposition's victory in Pakistan's parliamentary elections, Pres Pervez Musharraf says he has no plans to resign and will try to work with any new government.

• Getting graphic: An MSNBC graphics techie causes a stir by "accidentally" flashing a picture of Osama bin Laden above Chris Matthews head as he talked about Barack Obama. MSNBC says sorry about all that.

• Age of consent: A 25-year-old convicted sex offender tries to attend a middle-school dance with a 14-year-old girl but gets caught by school authorities. Hint: trying to pass at a high-school dance is easier.

• Mommy dearest: Britney Spears still doesn't get to see her kids—contrary to K-Fed's wishes—because lawyers can't agree on the terms of visitation. And, oh yeah, she's switched lawyers again.