President Bush Assures Worried Nation That Underlying Economy Is Sound

Addressing the massive economic turmoil currently devastating our financial institutions, President Bush spoke to the nation this morning to tell them that, "Hey, whatever, I'm gonna be just fine running out the clock here until some new guy gets stuck with the mess. Go back to worrying that the black dude wants to teach your five-year-old how to get it on with little Susie." Kidding! He talked about "disruptions" but promised that the economy could handle it. And when that guy tells you something, you know it's a promise you can take to the bank. If you still have one to take it to.