SUNNIER TIMES Jen, Vince
• Confirming the obvious: People has the "exclusive" that Vaughniston have broken up. Their rep, in addition to officially endorsing the lie-until-the-11th-hour policy practiced by so many celebrity couples, confirms the friendly split, which is good, because so many tabloid readers, Radar visitors, and moviegoers just didn't suspect this in the least. Hey! FYI, The Break-Up is now on DVD!
• Trans-generals?: A Navy Times editorial says the military's Don't Ask Don't Tell policy has failed, adding, "In this time of war, the absurdity of discharging otherwise qualified military personnel ... solely because of their LGBT identity, and discouraging thousands of others from seeking military service, is plain." Not to mention they're robbed of what Canadian service members have enjoyed for a year now: gay military weddings.
• Santa's little perpetrator: Brandi Ervin, a South Carolina mother, had her 12-year-old son arrested on charges of petty larceny for playing with one of his Christmas presents too early. "It was only to teach my son a lesson," she told AP. "He's been going through life doing things ... and getting away with it." When he gets his ass kicked in for baby booking, that'll teach him but good.
• BREAKING: Reuters is reporting the urgent news that "Some of Hollywood's most successful women share an unexpected byproduct of success—hairy armpits." (Insert your own exclamation point and siren icons here.) No mention of Julia Roberts, who's been rocking pitt pelt on and off since at least 1999.
• Spoiler alert: Just before Jim Baker's Iraq Study Group calls the situation in Iraq "grave," Al Gore goes on the Today show and says, "They're all basically saying the same thing: This is an utter disaster. This is the worst strategy mistake in the history of the United States."
Photo: Pacific Coast News