Playing dumb: A Panama hat-wearing Britney sends a sarcastic message through the camera of a paparazzo, calling out her management and USA Today. Note her last comment: "I'm going to have to hire you, man." She hires paparazzi?
• Culture clash: Protestors in Indian cities burn effigies of Richard Gere after the snow-white-haired actor kisses a Bollywood actress—on the cheek.
• Who was right?: In a new Pew Research poll, 69 percent of American adults identify Dick Cheney as the vice-president. (The other 31 percent say flesh-eating monster.)
• A real beaut: "Today's Girl" over at Maxim.com is American Idol's androgynous diva Sanjaya Malakar.
• Album tanks? Sue someone!: J-Lo and Mark Anthony sue the National Enquirer for claiming the couple was involved in a "heroin scandal."
• After the massacre: Blame starts to circulate after a gunman—an Asian man dressed like a "boy scout"—kills 33 at Virginia Tech. "I think the university has blood on their hands because of their lack of action after the first incident," one student says.