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No Justice, No Peace

Oct. 27 2008, Published 7:07 a.m. ET

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Long day, right? Let's get some of the lighter stuff out of the way first:

• While 10 members of the jury found in her favor, two holdouts were firm in their belief that Britney Spears was, in fact, not that innocent of driving without a license. The judge declared a mistrial.

• Is Will Smith a boner of dudes? This Hollywood madam says so, and, you know, when do Hollywood madams ever lie?

Perez Hilton will make an appearance on Paris Hilton's television show tonight! Not making an appearance: Dignity.

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The Bush administration won't close the prison at Guantanamo Bay, even though it really, really wants to. It's hard to let go sometimes, though.

John McCain won the Cuban Missile Crisis, so you don't need to worry about his being ready on Day One.

• The Dow dropped another couple hundred points.

Stephen Baldwin is apparently still newsworthy. At least by Extra's calculations.

• Seriously, Sarah Palin, what the fuck?

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