Long day, right? Let's get some of the lighter stuff out of the way first:
• While 10 members of the jury found in her favor, two holdouts were firm in their belief that Britney Spears was, in fact, not that innocent of driving without a license. The judge declared a mistrial.
• Is Will Smith a boner of dudes? This Hollywood madam says so, and, you know, when do Hollywood madams ever lie?
• Perez Hilton will make an appearance on Paris Hilton's television show tonight! Not making an appearance: Dignity.
• The Bush administration won't close the prison at Guantanamo Bay, even though it really, really wants to. It's hard to let go sometimes, though.
• John McCain won the Cuban Missile Crisis, so you don't need to worry about his being ready on Day One.
• The Dow dropped another couple hundred points.
• Stephen Baldwin is apparently still newsworthy. At least by Extra's calculations.
• Seriously, Sarah Palin, what the fuck?